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LOS ANGELES, California - A man known for his enormous penis was stopped by security at San Francisco International airport and questioned about the bulge in his pants, he was reported as saying Thursday.
Jonah Falcon, 41, has an organ which is 9.5 inches long when flaccid and 13 inches (33 centimeters) erect, according to Rolling Stone magazine. He has featured in a number of documentaries about the world's biggest penises.
He was returning to New York from San Francisco on July 9 when he was stopped, after Transportation Security Administration (TSA) agents saw a bulge hanging down over his left upper thigh.
"They wanted to know if I had something in my pockets, and when I said no, they asked if I had some sort of growth," he said, according to the San Francisco Chronicle.
He told them it was his penis, and they checked around his crotch, although not too closely. He was delayed for five minutes. The incident was not his first. "I've gone through the (scanner) before, and I wasn't worried.
"What was the worst that was going to happen? I was going to have to whip it out for them? I'm used to that. Sometimes when people ask me about it, if I'm feeling up to it, I'll just show them."
In a tweet at the time Falcon said: "TSA didn't know what to make of the massive bulge on my thigh. Even after I went through that body scanner that shows you naked..."
A 2003 Rolling Stone story entitled "Mr. Big" reported that Falcon's penis was eight inches long when he was only 10 years old. It quoted his mother as saying his organ size was genetic.
"He was born like that, and he was always big for his age. But it's not his big penis, it's society's need to fixate on it. We're in a world where men see their manhood in their penises."
The TSA did not immediately respond to a request for comment. Nor did Falcon.
On the list of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World you have things like the Pyramids at Giza, which are still around, and the massive Lighthouse of Alexandria, which is long gone. But then you have the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, which apparently never existed at all.
Ah, the ancient lynx-and-wine orgies that could have been.
If you're not familiar with the Hanging Gardens or why they were a big deal, just imagine if a section of Central Park was 80 feet above ground. We're not just talking about the riding paths and urine-soaked vagrants, but every tree you can imagine, flower beds, and statues -- all of it up in the air, supported by stone columns.
The story goes that, deep in the deserts of what is now Iraq, King Nebuchadnezzar II's wife was homesick for the lush foliage of her homeland, so Neb commissioned an elaborate terraced pleasure garden for her benefit. And while, say, the pyramids were just a one-time deal, the Hanging Gardens would have been a sprawling, ongoing project requiring engineering knowledge that surpassed everything else at the time -- you're trying to keep water flowing to all of these tiers of suspended foliage in the middle of the freaking desert.
"Sand can eat our Mesopotamian dicks."
It's hard to overstate how impressive an achievement it was. Or would have been, had it been true.
There are no records of the Hanging Gardens having existed at Babylon. Experts today believe that the myth of the Hanging Gardens was perpetuated by soldiers returning to Greece from Babylon. They told exaggerated tales of the things they saw -- Babylon did have some sweet buildings, and the land was more fertile back then -- and in turn the ancient historians made those descriptions even more fanciful, until we had a Wonder of the Ancient World on our hands.
"Yeah, this shit'll never do. Needs way more plants.
But surely there must have been something there for the ancients to embellish, right? Well, a tablet was found in the Assyrian city of Nineveh that has a depiction of a garden, which has one Assyriologist raising the possibility that Babylon's gardens were actually an exaggerated, overhyped version of something that existed elsewhere, maybe.
By the way, the tablet looks like this:
We've said it before, and we'll say it again: People could not draw worth a shit back then.
Let's give credit where credit is due. Maybe we spent the turn of the millennium freaking out over our computers and hoarding bottled water and canned goods and mechanical can openers, but at least we didn't go nuts like some people. After all, as the news media tells us, these millennial freakouts happen every thousand years. You may have heard during the Y2K panic that back in the year 999, the Christian faithful were so sure that Jesus was returning that they prayed obsessively, forgave debts, gave all their possessions away, pardoned criminals, and stopped tending their fields. Some even flocked to Jerusalem in anticipation of the return of Christ.
With all this hype, we'll be lucky if it isn't a bigger disappointment than the Star Wars prequels.
So while a few crazies today obsessively prepare for the apocalypse, we're not exactly shutting everything down in a blind panic as a society. Not like those dipshits back then.
European Christians were too busy with the day-to-day business of not starving to death to get caught up in an apocalypse-prepping panic. For one thing, they could barely agree on which year it was, so it's kind of hard to get worked up over the next round number on the calendar when you thought the fatal day had already passed a few years ago. For another, these people were always anticipating the return of Christ. It was kind of their thing, ever since John scribbled down some incoherent ramblings about horsemen of the apocalypse and a whore of Babylon.
His motivation is lost to time.
Which is why historians have been dismissing the notion of widespread panic at the last turn of the millennium for more than a hundred years now. No one went crazy. No one flocked to Jerusalem. People just went about their ordinary business of being dirty and hungry, maybe with an occasional look to the sky, just in case.
What's really interesting is how the rumors of collective millennial shit-losing got started in the first place. The stories actually began in 1605 when a Catholic cardinal mentioned the panic in his history of the church. Protestants later used the stories as evidence of how unenlightened and superstitious Catholics were. Finally, a politically motivated 19th century French historian embellished the accounts as a final indictment against the church. By the time he was done with the first millennial scare, a retroactive mass hysteria had seized all of religious Europe. We almost wish we could be here in a thousand years to see what our ancestors have to say about our handling of the year 2000.
"It's probably a good thing the robo-syphilis outbreak of 2016 killed most of 'em."
Even if you're not the world's biggest Anglophile, you probably know about Henry VIII, aka "That king who kept beheading his wives because they wouldn't give him a son."
"Kings don't pay no alimony."
The story there is that his dad was Henry Tudor when he took over the throne of England, and in order for the Tudor name to continue, Henry VIII needed boys, not girls, to keep the lineage alive. Henry's wife Catherine delivered a daughter and some not-living boys before her womb dried out altogether, so Hank moved heaven and hell to divorce her for a new wife, causing a massive upheaval at the time. Anything to keep the Tudor monarchy going, right?
Eventually, Henry's daughter Queen Elizabeth I died childless and the Stuart era began. Too bad for the legendary family known as the Tudors. The whole drama makes for a pretty good soap opera.
Everyone in this picture looks so fancy, you can almost forget that their lives were one long chain of chronic diarrhea.
You know how no one who lived in the Dark Ages actually thought of themselves as living through the Dark Ages? The phrase was invented by later historians as a nice way to break up that bit of history from the years before and the years after. It's the same thing with the idea of a "House of Tudor" or "Tudor England."
For one thing, the first Tudor king wasn't too crazy about throwing his last name around because he came from humble origins. Apparently, "Tudor" was like the "Jim Bob" of the day. After scouring contemporary documents, one historian found one single lonely mention of the word "Tudor," and that was in a poem written after Elizabeth's death.
She was mistakenly killed by a vampire hunter.
The point being, subjects living under Elizabeth's or Mary's or Henry's reign wouldn't have been nearly as concerned about whose house was named what -- they were probably more concerned about whether or not Bloody Mary was going to execute them for Protestantism. In fact, when Elizabeth died, the country was relieved that there was a quick succession that didn't involve an invasion or revolt. If they were lamenting the end of the Tudor era, they didn't let it show. Unfortunately, all of this means that we're not going to get to take reruns of The Tudors very seriously anymore.
If you've never heard the story of "Pope Joan," we feel sorry for you, because it's awesome. For instance, if your initial reaction to hearing the name was "I didn't know they let women be pope at all," well, that's the point -- they don't. This is the story of a woman who pulled off the con of a millennium.
Despite the handicap of a right arm that started well below her waistline.
In the ninth century, a German woman named Joan started studying at a monastery, claiming to be a man. Covered from head to toe in junk-hiding monk clothes like everyone else, no one suspected that she wasn't a dude. Then she made her way to Rome, where she became a secretary to a cardinal. And when the pope died, according to one 12th century chronicler, Joan was deemed the best person for the job.
For two whole years she pulled off the charade, until the day came when she gave birth in the street during a procession.
To a toddler, apparently.
The story gets fuzzy from there. While still trailing afterbirth, Joan died or was stoned by the crowd or was dragged from the tail of a horse, a worthy punishment for being a religious leader with a vagina.
For centuries after, papal processions avoided the street where Joan plopped out a Pope Jr. A statue was erected to commemorate the story. Her face showed up on ancient Roman tarot cards and statues in cathedrals. For years, each papal candidate was forced to sit on the sedes stercoraria, a special throne with a hole cut in the seat ... so cardinals could reach up underneath to confirm there were balls a-danglin'. Like this:
Popes and the Papacy
"While I'm down here, how about the ol' stroke-and-wiggle?"
Someone even made a whole movie about Pope Joan's story, shockingly not starring Tilda Swindon or Glenn Close.
Aaaaand, it's bullshit.
Unfortunately, Pope Joan's story has some birth-canal-sized plot holes. Like the year of Pope Joan's coronation, 855. That can't be right, because Leo IV was immediately replaced by Benedict III in 855. Unless she was actually John VIII, who reigned from 872 until 882, except that fully penised guy had his own backstory and sad demise. There really are no empty spots in the church's history where a theoretical mystery pope could have stepped in.
Or squatted down.
The most damaging evidence against Pope Joan is the fact that there are no contemporary references or relics that support her existence -- no commissioned paintings of a suspiciously feminine pope or papal panties or anything.
As for the reason the church avoided that street where she allegedly gave birth, it was because it was too narrow for the pope's entourage. And the statue erected on the spot had actually always been there -- it was a pagan goddess later attributed to Pope Joan. And as for the part everyone wishes were true -- that every pope has to go through a laborious scrotum-groping ritual -- we have to disappoint you once again. It was a conclusion people came to when they saw the hole in the sedes stercoraria, which is really a ceremonial toilet.
Franco Origlia / Getty
His Holy Taco Poops are too good for regular porcelain.
Maybe that's the real story here -- that somebody who at one time was considered an expert looked at a chair with a hole in it and instead of thinking "toilet" thought "This must be the pope's nut-grabbing chair." We've got to say, we kind of like how that guy's mind worked.
INDIA’S TEAM-11 ON 11-11-11...Hospital staff showing 11 babies born on unique date 11/11/11 in Surat on Friday.
11 LSCS deliveries at our 21st Century Hospital & Test Tube Baby Centre-Surat and more at Killa Pardi & Vapi (at Nadkarni Hospital & Test Tube Baby Centre & 21st Century Hospitals Pvt. Ltd.) on 11.11.11 and all Test Tube Babies…A world record.
SURAT: A city-based In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) centre will undertake operations on 11 would-be mothers to schedule the births of their babies on Friday, 11-11-11.
About 30 women had conceived through IVF nine months ago at the 21st Century Hospital in the city. Of them, 11 couples wanted the delivery of their babies on the special date.
Cheating everywhere in every time! Do You cheat?
And what do You think about cheating?
(Thanks to Odod @Barangay Mulay)
Depending upon your definition, and whether or not you count Taiwan, there are “approximately” 196 countries in the world as of this writing. So while you may consider yourself to be a knowledgeable global citizen, and we’re sure you are, given the dynamic and complex nature of our planet there are certain to be at least a couple facts on this list that you will find surprising. Here are 25 things that you wouldn’t believe about these countries.
#25. Covers the most time zones – France
If you count everything, including overseas territories, then France claims the title by covering 12 time zones. The United States would be the runner-up with 11 and then Russia with 9.
#24. Most likely to disappear beneath the waves – Maldives
With all the talks of global warming and rising sea levels, it is the residents of the Maldives that have the greatest reason to fear. With an average height of around 1.8 meters above sea level their nation is the lowest on Earth.
#23. Most overweight population – NauruWith over 95% of its population being overweight, the small island nation of Nauru is by far the fattest country on Earth. Its obesity epidemic is primarily attributed to the importation of western fast food that coincided with an increased standard of living in the 20th century due to the global popularity of its phosphate exports. It’s almost non sequitur…almost.
#22. Roads made of coral – Guam
Because Guam doesn’t have any natural sand, but rather coral, the island nation makes its asphalt using a mix of ground coral and oil rather than importing sand from abroad.
#21. Has 350 sheep for every person –Falkand Islands (UK)
With only about 3,000 people the Falkland Islands are home to approximately half-a million-sheep. Not surprisingly wool is a major export.
#20. Oldest sovereign state – Egypt
This largely depends upon your definition of a sovereign state but if you are going by first acquisition of sovereignty then Egypt would be the first country in the world to achieve sovereignty based upon the formation of the first dynasty in 3100 BC.
#19. Most lakes in the world – Canada
With over 3 million lakes 9% of Canadian territory is actually fresh water and over 60% of all the lakes in the world are found within its borders.
#18. Least likely place to meet your neighbour – Mongolia
At 4 people per square mile Mongolia is the least densely populated country on Earth. Compare this to the Mong Kok district of Hong Kong that has the highest population density in the world with 340,000 people per square mile.
#17. Largest number of tanks – Russia
It is a strange title to hold, but Russia has by far the most tanks of any army in the world (21,000). Unfortunately for the mother land most of these outdated machines are tributes to its past, and although outnumbered (16,000), the United States has a much more advanced tank inventory.
#16. The land of no rivers – Saudi Arabia
Sounds a bit strange doesn’t it? For a country as big as Saudi Arabia there has to be at least some sort of flowing water. Well, there isn’t. Most of their fresh water comes from desalinization plants or underground reservoirs.
#.15 Youngest population of any country –Niger
Generally the worlds youngest country is determined by calculating the portion of the population that is younger than 15. Presently it is Niger that holds this distinction with roughly half of its population having barely reached puberty (49%).
#14. Most diverse country in the world – India
In almost every category – culturally, economically, climatically, racially, linguistically, ethnically, and religiously India is either the most diverse country in the world, or the runner-up.
#13. Fastest disappearing nation – Ukraine
With a natural decrease in population of .8% annually, between now and 2050 Ukraine is expected to lose around 30% of its people.
#12. Most of its citizens live abroad – Malta
After some rough economic times coupled with an increased birth rate,Malta experienced significant immigration. It was so significant that there are now more Maltese living abroad than within the country itself.
#11. Smaller than Central Park in New York City–Monaco
Although Vatican City is smaller (.17 sq mi) than Monaco(.8 sq mi), unlike Monaco it doesn’t have any permanent residents which leaves Monaco as the smallest permanently inhabited nation in the world…smaller than Central Park.
#10. Almost entirely covered in jungle – Suriname
With 91% of its land covered in jungle Suriname’s half-a-million residents live primarily along the coast near the capital. Only 5% of the population (mainly indigenous people) live inland.
#9. Almost entirely treeless – Haiti
On the opposite end of the spectrum is Haiti, a country that has been so badly deforested that you can tell where it borders the Dominican Republic by looking at a satellite image (Haiti is on the left in the photo above).
#8. Largest country with no farms – Singapore
Although there are a number of small nations in the world that show no hint of having an agriculture based economy, (take Vatican City for example) Singapore is the largest of these urban city-states.
#7. Most languages spoken – Papua New Guinea
Although English is its official language, only 1-2% of the population actually speak it. As the most linguistically diverse country in the world, over 820 languages are spoken in Papua New Guinea or 12% of the world’s total.
#6. Most educated people – Canada
With 50% of its population having been educated at the post secondary level,Canada easily has the most educated populace in the world. It is followed by Israel at 45% andJapanat 44%.
#5. The “country desert” –Libya
With 99% of the country covered in desert Libya is one of the most arid places in the world and in some regions decades may go by without a single drop of rain.
#4. Least peaceful nation in the world – Somalia
Although for the last three years Iraq has been ranked as the least peaceful country in the world, according to the Global Peace Index, Somalia overtook it this year for the top spot.
#3. Produces most of the world’s oxygen – Russia
Siberiais home to approximately 25% of the world’s forests that span an area larger than the continental United States, making Russia the largest converter of CO2 into breathable compounds.
#2. World’s largest opium producer – Afghanistan
Producing a whopping 95 percent of the world’s opium, not even 10 years of occupation by American forces have slowed down the industry.
#1. Most people behind bars – United States
When it comes to incarcerating its population, the United States is the world’s uncontested leader. With 2.2 million people behind bars it has 5% of the world’s population but 25% of the world’s incarcerated population.China comes in second place at 1.5 million and Russia comes third at 870,000.
World's best country in business English
Well, people will now have to think twice before mocking Pinoys' use of the English language.
The Philippines was named the world’s best country in business English proficiency, even beating the United States, according to a recent study by GlobalEnglish Corporation.
GlobalEnglish has released early this month the results of its annual Business English Index (BEI), the only index that measures business English proficiency in the workplace.
For 2012, results showed that from 76 represented countries worldwide, only the Philippines attained a score above 7.0, "a BEI level within range of a high proficiency that indicates an ability to take an active role in business discussions and perform relatively complex tasks."
“This is particularly interesting because the Philippines, a country with one-tenth of the population of India, recently overtook India as a hub for call centers. Over 400,000 Filipinos are now employed in call centers, roughly 50,000 more than in India,” the study said.
The Philippines, which scored 7.11 and the lone country in the intermediate level, were joined by Norway (6.54), Estonia (6.45), Serbia (6.38) and Slovenia (6.19) in the top five.
GlobalEnglish noted that a country’s business English capability is an indicator of its economic growth and business success.
“It is not surprising that both the Philippines and Norway—the only two countries in the top five in both 2011 and 2012—are improving their economies, based on the latest GDP data from the World Bank,” it added.
Meanwhile, struggling economic powers (Japan, Italy and Mexico) and fast-growth emerging markets (Brazil, Columbia and Chile) scored below a 4.0 in business English proficiency, placing them at a disadvantage when competing in a global marketplace, the study said.
It also pointed out that shifts in global talent have put even English-speaking countries at risk.
“Surprisingly the BEI score for global workers in the U.S. declined from 6.9 to 5.09 since the original 2011 BEI benchmark, which is attributed to a majority of test takers being foreign-born engineers and scientists,” the report said.
Rest of the world ranked beginner and basic level
Based on a scale of 1-10, the average 2012 BEI score across 108,000 test takers around the world is 4.15 which is lower than last year’s 4.46.
Nearly four out of 10 (38.2 percent) global workers from 76 countries were ranked as business English beginners, meaning that, on average, they can’t understand or communicate basic information during virtual or in-person meetings, read or write professional emails in English or deal with complexity and rapid change in a global business environment, the study said.
Meanwhile, the majority of global workers (60.5 percent) from the represented countries scored between a 4.0 and 7.0, below an intermediate level, indicating an inability to take an active role in business discussions or perform relatively complex tasks such as presentation development and customer or partner negotiations, it added.
GlobalEnglish stressed that the 2012 BEI which showed a lack of business English proficiency is threatening the productivity of companies, industries and country-specific economies this year.
“Poor Business English skills are bad for global businesses and this year’s Business English Index suggests that many companies will be hard-pressed to achieve their desired performance goals during 2012,” said Tom Kahl, GlobalEnglish President.
“Addressing English skills gaps and ensuring that employees can immediately perform at the necessary proficiency level should be viewed as a strategic imperative for multinational businesses, as Enterprise Fluency, the ability to seamlessly communicate and collaborate within global organizations, can deliver significant financial upside,” Kahl added.
Headquartered in Brisbane, California, GlobalEnglish works with multinational companies – including Cisco, Procter and Gamble, HSBC, Phzer – to support performance in business English across the workforce around the world.
Here's the list of the 10 best and worst countries in the world for business English proficiency based on GlobalEnglish's 2012 BEI:
10 Best Countries:
10 Worst Countries:
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